A Look in the Mirror

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“Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” James 1:21-25

As I read this I felt this conviction in my spirit; how often do I have the word of God before me and skim over it because “I already know what that says.” Does that scream a major pride issue to you? It never really has for me until today, and how many times have I read that scripture…A lot. How many times have I read a book or even this blog and skimmed right past the scripture to get to the “rest of the story”? It is actually quite embarrassing when I really think about it. Books and this blog are simply tools. They are not meant to be the nourishment that I need. Nourishment, the one that does not leave me thirsty, comes wholly and completely from the word of God.

My heart hurts and I cry out to God for His forgiveness. Tears come to my eyes as I think of all the times God had a word for me and I missed it because I did not come humbly before His word. How many times I did not believe the word of God to be “living and active” as Hebrews 4:12 tells me it is. Oh, I pray that I will never make that mistake again. I pray that my pride will be crushed so that I can be built only upon the Rock, my God.

This brought me to a place where I think of my children. Daily we go to the word of God together, we memorize it, talk about all the stories and applications. They are much younger than I was when I started reading the Bible.

I think of the people that I know who grew up in church and could run circles around me with their knowledge of where things are in the Bible and the scriptures they have memorized. Some of those people immediately come to mind when I think of the pride of not coming humbly before the word of God and some when I think of the most humble people I know.

So what is the difference? I think James makes it clear that the difference is pride but how do I raise children who are humble and not prideful? How do I raise children who humbly go before God’s word knowing it is living and active and that God has a word to give them in the moment?

Claiming to know the answers to my questions would just be ridiculous, because I don’t. I have some ideas based on scripture and the outcomes I have seen in other families. I think, as it is with so many things, that we have to live it out for our kids to see.

Do they see me as the person who looks in the mirror, goes away and immediately forgets what they look like? Do they see me read my Bible every day? Yes, but is that it? That is me looking into the mirror but what happens when I walk away.

I heard a great analogy once it went something like this: The bible is like our mirror. We get up, go look in the mirror, and see our hair is all a mess. The mirror does not fix our hair we have to use a hairbrush to do that. The hairbrush would be going to Jesus.

Just like brushing all those snarls out is harder than looking in the mirror, so is letting Jesus do the real work that needs to be done in our heart. It often comes with pain. But the end result is good.

If I can be a picture for my children of what it looks like to be humble before the word of God, I think that is a place to start. I can’t ask them to be something I am not. We always want better for our kids. We don’t want them to have the same messes we have had. So maybe it all starts with letting them see just what God can do with our mess.

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11

Come to Jesus

But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. - Psalm 55:16

As a mom there are plenty of times we need to "Come to Jesus" and live. Many times I feel as if I fail Him but am reminded that if I will come to Him... my burden will be lifted and carried far away. His precious blood has washed away my stain. Click the link below, listen, sing along and be refreshed....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v37_uH_3MzU

That's Not the Plan!

I am a planner! I am constantly updating my calendar with appointments, ministries, and meetings. I plan for the year, for the month and my days. I plan my budget, my family time, and all my social events. And what's a plan without LISTS? Glorious, glorious lists! To-Do Lists, Chores Lists, Shopping Lists, Gift Lists... just to name a few. Without my calendars and lists, I feel frazzeled. I forget things easily.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. - Proverbs 16:9

Lately, things have NOT been going according to plan! Something seems to constantly pop up and thwart my plans. Just this past weekend, my sister was visiting from Georgia. I planned to spend Saturday with her and reserved Sunday for laundry and chores. I can't believe she completely ruined my plans with a wonderful impromptu beach BBQ with family, including my 91 year old grandmother! God blessed me with a time to be remembered and cherished.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:21

When things don't go as planned (my plan), my first reaction is frustration. I planned it, therefore it's going to happen. Isn't that how it works? This kind of chaos only happens to people that don't plan ahead, right? I realized it was just a cover up for a lack of faith. If I don't know the next step, I tend to worry.

So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:31-35

I am learning to rest in the Lord. I am learning to not miss out on life for the sake of getting things done or checking items off a list. I am learning to cherish time with family and friends. I am learning to enjoy life. I am learning to love others first. I am learning that my plan is not always the BEST plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Questions: Are you allowing God's purpose to prevail? Are you seeking first the kingdom? Are you enjoying the people and the time He has given you on earth?

Remembering Moses' Mama

  This beautiful post is written by my friend, Julie. It is an update on her sweet little guy who just turned five months old. You can follow her story (and receive all types of other goodies--craft ideas, recipes, etc.) at www.happyhomefairy.com. I hope you enjoy reading it. It is such a wonderful reminder that our children and our times are in God's hands.


                                           Yesterday did not go as I had planned.

Three weeks ago (right about the time we found out the Happy Baby didn’t have a fatal genetic disorder), we decided to stop using the feeding tube. Knowing that there was not a disability helped me to see that most of the Happy Baby’s feeding issues are aftermath from our 3+ month hospital stay.

As soon as we took him off the tube the poor thing lost 5 ounces almost instantly.

I spent a lot of time in the fetal position trying not to have panic attacks that my precious little boy was going to waste away into a bag of bones.

I fretted about whether or not I was doing the right thing, but yet found myself stubbornly determined not to use the tube ever again.

Then one night when I crept into his room to quietly trick him into taking a bottle while asleep, he guzzled 6 ounces in less than 15 minutes!

Practically a world record!

From that point on I watched as (miraculously) the Happy Baby got better and better about taking his bottles.

I started texting pictures of empty Dr. Brown’s to my mom or the Happy Hubby at work because I was so excited about his progress.

Not every feed is awesome. He still has quite a bit of reflux going on. I’ve even cut dairy and gluten (*sob to no more late night ice cream binges*) from my diet to see if it might help – and while it’s improved, I can tell that some bottles hurt more than others and some bottles are still unbelievably rough. But, on the whole, he is taking in better volumes.

I began praying that God would pack the pounds on the Happy Baby. Use the milk that I am frantically trying to provide to turn our son into a little Dough Boy.

I started praying for a specific weight to be attained by the Happy Baby’s next GI doctor appointment so that I could prove to the medical staff that our baby didn’t need his feeding tube anymore and would they please take it out.

I figured that God wanted the Happy Baby’s feeding tube out as much as I did.

Well, that GI appointment was yesterday.

And as I said, it did not go as I had planned.

For starters, what I was hoping would be a party around the scale, ended up being a HUGE disappointment.

3 weeks. Only 3 ounces gained.

Then the doctor came in and informed us that not only had the Happy Baby dropped from the 25th percentile for weight down to the 8th, but also that we were nuts to think we could take his tube out so soon.

I tried to stand my ground in our little meeting and push my “I just believe he’s going to be fine” agenda on the doctor, but he held up the facts.

It seems I am a bit in denial that our sweet Happy Baby still very much has some obstacles to overcome.

Instead of getting the tube out we must wait another 6 weeks and try some things to boost the Happy Baby’s weight because clearly my breast milk alone is not cutting it (big disappointment).

I am tempted to quietly push ice cream through the tube! Or maybe invite Paula Deen to move in with us and lavish her buttery goodness on our boy.

Needless to say, I left the doctor’s feeling incredibly discouraged.

I had walked in feeling so sure that we’d be scheduling a tube-removal surgery and we could put this whole season behind us.

Somehow I had managed, once again, to form my own idea of our ‘happily ever after’ and forget that sometimes (okay, often times) God’s ‘happily ever afters’ are quite different than ours.

Sometimes He allows hard things. Sometimes the perfect little ideal I dream up is just the opposite of God’s plans.

Sometimes there are babies with feeding tubes for extended amounts of time.

Sometimes there are children with serious disorders and diseases.

Sometimes there is even death.

Sometimes the journey to His ‘happily ever after’ doesn’t feel quite so fairy-tale-ish.

These are the thoughts I have wrestled with lately, trying desperately to hold on to my Pollyanna Complex – believing that God will perform a miraculous and instant healing in our baby – in all hurting babies for that matter.

But the truth remains – sometimes He doesn’t.

And that is a hard pill to swallow.

I was reminded recently of Moses’ mother.

In a time when the king had ordered all of the Israelite baby boys to be killed, Moses’ mother wrapped her baby up, laid him in a basket, and sent him floating down the river.

She put her baby in a basket – and trusted that God would deliver him.

That certainly doesn’t sound like the ideal situation to me! I’d be paralyzed with fear at the thought of the basket overturning or an angry alligator looking for its next meal!

But this is what God asks us to do.

Put our babies ‘in the basket’.

Surrender our hopes, dreams, and desires for them – knowing that God’s hopes, dreams, and desires for them (and ultimately, us) are better.

Little did Moses’ mother know that in her obedience to surrender her baby to the basket, God would lead that basket straight to the palace where her baby was found by the princess, herself, and given a life of royalty.

Not exactly what Moses’ mother had in mind. I would think she had prayed for a way to keep her baby in her care forever, begging the Lord for another way.

But God chose differently. And her son lived. Because of her obedience he lived to lead an entire nation of people out of slavery.

So the tube is staying in a little bit longer. And when I say a little bit, I hope and still pray it will be a little bit, but ultimately it’s up to God and not my own stubborn determination or endless hours of pumping.

The Happy Hubby commented to me as we left the hospital yesterday that our hearts should be so surrendered to God’s timing for the Happy Baby that when it does come time to get the tube out, we will be pleasantly surprised.

I’ll bet Moses’ mother was pleasantly surprised when she ended up being the woman the princess called on to nurse her new found baby in the basket.

Photo Credit

Yes, Mommy Warriors out there, let us put our babies in the basket.

Because in that obedience, we can be confident that God will lead them (and us!) to the palace.

Thank you always for your prayers and support.

You’re the best.

-Julie

“But I trust in you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in your hand…”

Psalm 31:14-15a

R.E.F.L.E.C.T.

Greetings ladies!
Today I thought we'd take some time to reflect on the last year, however, if any of your memories resemble mine, six months will do.

Each day we look forward to reading this blog for encouragement, strength, a slice of conviction here and there, or however else the Lord chooses to use it. But we must ask ourselves if we are utilizing God's resources to our best ability. Are we squandering these privileges or are we good stewards?
Asking ourselves how we have grown in these past months to be better disciples.

R - resources.  Do we take full advantage of Bibles, weekly sermons, worship, bible studies, etc.?
                        If so, how are we boldly sharing the Lord with these wonderful tools that make our life
                        better equipped to be used by God?

                    Eph.  4:12 For the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the
                              body of Christ.

E - encouragement.   Are we always others centered, lifting them up. Do our conversations have
                                     Substance?
                                 
             
              Heb. 10:24-25 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not
                                      forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but
                                      exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the day approaching.

F -  faithfulness.   Are we faithful and consistent in our actions, or do we let mood swings or our        
                            energy level be a hindrance?

               I Cor. 10:31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of
                                    God.

L - love.   Do we extend it to the unloveables?

              John14:11  These things I command you, that you love one another.

E - examples.   How are we measuring up to our role model Jesus.  Is our walk matching our talk?

              I Cor. 11:1. Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ

C - compassion.   Are we moved with compassion, or more quick to judge?

               Lam. 3:22  Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions
                                  fail not. 

 T - truth.   When we feel the need to voice our opinion, are we speaking the truth in love?         

                2 Tim. 2:25. In humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant
                                   them repentance, so that they may know the truth.

So ladies, chew on these areas for a few minutes, and maybe you'd like an attainable goal with your
kids for the coming months. Maybe write a scripture verse on an index card. Recite it each day with your kids.

Can we ever have too many scriptures tucked away in our hearts?

THE "S" WORD!!!!!

The "S" Word....SUBMISSION

This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.
  - 1 Peter 3:5

Recently our family was with some friends when I observed a wife acting similar to how I do sometimes. Her husband encouraged her, about what to do with their child,  and the wife quickly and quietly rebutted, and did her own thing instead. Honestly, as I watched, it was as if the Holy Spirit had that account happen just for my eyes to observe. I saw myself. I felt sad because sometimes in even the simplistic of things I struggle allowing my husband to lead. 

I forget little eyes are watching me. More importantly Christ is watching me. How I submit is how my boys will expect their wives to as well. They will submit with a true heart when they see me mirroring that as well.

WOW that is powerful, right? 

I love how God knows where we will struggle and gives us the Word to encourage us in the "pit" with exact directions on how to climb out of it! 

"...and you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." - Genesis 3:16 

and then

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. - Ephesians 5:24

Many times my husband will encourage me to do something and I will weasel my way out of honoring him, all the while my kids are observing this whole thing going down. Many times my husband has reminded me not to have the kiddos eat in the car. Many times I have chosen my own way and disobeyed. My sons have reminded me of my sin leading many times to my "calling Daddy to tell him of my disobedience!" 

A pastor's wife once shared that when her kids question the dad's authority to her, she simply states, "Whatever Daddy says...goes!" She also follows up with a reminder to her children that, "Daddy is the leader of our home and family." 

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. - Romans 13:1

I have that verse up in my home, on a sticky note, and call my children's attention to it before heading to church. It reminds them to submit to authority and obey the rules given. 

How can I expect my children to obey teachers, coaches, even their Daddy, if I am not willing to sacrificially be the example of what that looks like?

Do you struggle with submission? Your husband? Your boss?

Lord, I pray that you will keep me humble and allow my heart to be molded by your Word. Thank you for situations that highlight the sin in my life, and help my eyes to be open to see them. Help me to be a good example of submission...by your strength and might! I love you!

Remember many are watching and ...those closest ...will imitate!

The Race Continues....

Last week my sister-in-law began a post that finds its completion today.  She is such a great “Momma!”  I am blessed by her strength, endurance and sweet relationship with our Savior.  Be blessed by her words….

     

     When I think of how “training through adversity” relates to my family personally, I am reminded of my time spent as a single parent.  I recall when many friends and family offered to help me with the kids (ages 7 and 2 ½ at the time) when my husband passed away in 2005.  It was much needed and appreciated help as I muddled through what to do next.  And I knew that my kiddos needed some extra love and attention.  But I eventually saw that some of the “good-intentions” led to an abundance of sympathy, concern, and a lot of extra attention/coddling.  

     I soon noticed quite a difference in the attitude of my 7 yr old daughter.  It started to become almost like an attitude of “entitlement” or an “excuse” to get away with certain things and behaviors, or to get to DO this, or get to HAVE that, all because she didn’t have her Daddy anymore. She certainly deserved those extra privileges now, right?  I mean, that’s the lesson she was being taught by all of us, so why would she think that she was anything less than extra-super-duper special and was owed this by the world to her because of her situation in life?  UH-OH!! 

     I knew I needed to nip that mentality in the bud!  I had to explain to her little heart & mind the best that I could, that she still DOES have a Daddy, it’s just that he happens to live in Heaven right now and is waiting for us to join him someday.  And NO, it really did not mean she was entitled to have any extra “stuff” or special privileges just because he wasn’t here with us anymore, and she absolutely did NOT have an excuse to get away with unacceptable behavior because of it! 

     “IT” only meant that God CHOSE our family to go through these experiences and adversities to glorify Him (not to pity ourselves.)  And we were NOT going to use our circumstances as an excuse for selfishness, inexcusable behavior, bad attitudes, or as entitlements to special privileges or rights. 

     I couldn’t let her or my son begin to believe for a moment that they were missing ANYTHING that God couldn’t provide for us.  And I certainly would not say, “Oh, you poor little children of mine, what in the world is going to happen to you now?”  That would only offer them a dreadful “crutch” to be used by them for the rest of their lives! 

     Instead, I knew I had to step up to the position that God called me to, and I had to show them how to find contentment, joy, strength, and confidence IN CHRIST, no matter what our circumstances are (see Phil 4:11-13.)  I needed to “train them through adversity” and equip them, not cripple them!  As Chip Ingram states in his book, Effective Parenting in a Defective World, “We need to teach our kids to suffer well.”  And so, we did our best to suffer well, even when it meant uprooting our lives as we knew it, moving the 3 of us to a new city, living in a new house, meeting new friends, going to a new school, finding a new church home, and muddling through every little change that needed to be made in our lives – all because of the “IT” that others would often remind us was so “unfair.” 

     Through it all, we had to choose every day to become BETTER, and not bitter because of these “unfair” circumstances that were completely out of our control.  Why? Because that’s what Christ tells us to do in His Word: “Be thankful IN all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1Thes 5:18) 

     Please note that the verse says, “Be thankful IN all things,” but it does not say FOR all things, and believe me, that really makes a big difference!  So, did I always succeed at doing this?  No.  Did I keep trying, learning, stumbling, praying and CLINGING to the Lord?  YES!  Am I still doing this even though my circumstances have now changed in life?  You bet! And I haven’t given up on this race.  Neither can you…little souls are depending on you!

     I hope this sheds a new light on the benefits of training through adversity (even for our children), as we all struggle through our “unfair” challenging races.  We can’t forget this is all just temporary, it’s TRAINING for what’s to come. He’s equipping us for eternity in Heaven!  The race is already ON!  Adversities await us.  What are you training your children to be…crippled or equipped for Eternity?

CHALLENGE & PRAYER: Ingram’s book also mentions a great concept and a challenge that I’m going to pray for each of us now:  Lord, we have learned that our goal should not be to make our kids happy; the goal of our parenting needs to be Christlikeness.  Lord, equip us!  Empower us with your Holy Spirit so that we can become Christ-like examples to our children and to raise them to look and act a lot like YOU!  Teach us to do what your Word instructs us in Heb 12:1, to “run with endurance the race You have set before us.” Thank you, Jesus that You died on the cross for us, so that we can spend Eternity with You when we invite You into our hearts! We love You, Lord! AMEN.”