Grin from Ear to Ear

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

We all have those “proud mom” moments that make us grin from ear to ear.  You know the one where we see our child do something so sweet for another or do that selfless act that makes you say “he/she is really getting it”.  All the hard work I am putting into these childhood years is paying off.  Sometimes in these moments it is easy to give credit to our Lord because those acts are usually taught over and over with scripture and prayer and our Lord in mind.  However, the kind of proud moments I am going to talk about are the moments where giving thanks to our Lord may not be so clear...

This past year I have had the opportunity to be so proud of my daughter Abigail’s physical abilities.  Abigail is 5 years old and up until this year athletics haven't really been her thing.  However, this year I got to see my little girl shine.  I watched as she kept up with the boys on her soccer team and even scored two goals.  I saw her beam when her daddy threw her up in the sky because he was so proud.  I also got to see her be the best on her little swim team and the smile on her face because her coach was so proud of her.  

As I watched with a grin from ear to ear as any mom would, I remembered something my husband said a year ago when she wasn’t doing as well.  He said “Will you always praise our Lord and give Him all the glory for everything our children attempt to do”?  How are you doing in this area?  Do you encourage your child to praise God after they make a soccer goal?  Do they praise him after their dance recital?  Do you let your children know that every skill and gift they have is from Him?  Do you ALSO praise Him when they don't do so well but try their best, reminding them that it is not always how well they play but more about who they are representing while they play?  Most of all, remembering God is to be praised no matter the outcome.  

Please Lord help us to remember you are everything and anything good in us.  You are the giver of life and the giver of gifts.  Allow us to use them for your glory and to further your kingdom.

Amen.

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above.

Solution BEFORE the Chaos Breaks Loose

Point your kids in the right direction— 
   when they're old they won't be lost.
-Proverbs 22:6 MSG

Two years ago, a bunch of us with kids started a parenting small group. We met once a month and studied "Growing Kids Gods Way" by Gary & AnnMarie Ezzo. It was life changing and it challenged us both as parents and as Christians too!

One of the best lessons learned from that study and still use today is called "Pre-Activity." This is the process of walking the child through the consequences of disobedience before it even occurs. It's that talk right before entering the park. It's that warning before entering a friends' house. It's that sit down right before having company over. 

Pre-Activity is the act of explaining the behavior expected and the consequence that will be earned if they choose to disobey.  This lesson was monumental for me and it seemed to change my child's behavior almost immediately. Do my kids always obey? Ummm ...NO! But when I warn them ahead of time and explain what is expected then the consequences are fewer by far!


I found a blog that explained this concept and a few others ideas we learned in that study, that were a helpful review I thought you might enjoy gleaning from as well.


Growing Kids God's Way: 
Discipline with Encouragement


I'm just going to highlight a few good pieces of practical information:


*Remind your children of what is expected before an event (pre-activity encouragement).  Such as, before you enter the library say, "We are going in to the library.  Today we will not play.  Mama has to drop off and pick up books.  Please stay with me.  Do you understand?"


*For older kids, you do the same thing and then ask dialogue questions so they have a firm grasp of what you expect.


*Use positive words not negative words.  Instead of, "Don't knock over your cup."  Say, "Keep your cup flat on the table."


*Reward behavior!  No, don't bribe.  Say, "Because you were good in the store today..."  not, "If you are good in the store today..."


*Rewards can be tangible and non-tangible.  Our son loves it when we praise and clap for him.  We try to catch him doing good often.


Also, one of the biggest tips I learned in the class was to teach during times of non-conflict.  Example: Today Shrade and I were sitting on a bench next to the road and I talked about safety.


*Taken from 
www.milknhoneylearnandgrow.blogspot.com/2011/02/growing-kids-gods-way-discipline-with.html


So, how do you discipline with encouragement in your home?  


Do you practice "Pre-Activity?" If not, make a plan & do it!

Start children off on the way they should go, 

    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

- Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Direct your children onto the right path,

    and when they are older, they will not leave it.

-Proverbs 22:6 NLT

God in His Mercy...

And now…the rest of the story…

            Last Friday, I shared the story of my misbehavior in first grade.  It culminated with a letter from my teacher to my parents.  My mother found the index card outrageously humorous and shared it with her closest relative, her aunt. Following is my great aunts written response to my naughtiness.

Dear Carol,

I always knew that Joan would come to a bad end.

I am mortified to be related to someone that would turn a flip in a toilet!!

We all got together in a family conference and decided we’d pretend we never knew her. 

That was the funniest note I ever saw.  Vickie (her daughter)

Brought it in to me and we laughed until we cried.

Vickie said she (Joan) must have gotten a running start down the block and came tearing in

Knocking down doors and flipping about a 100 times.

I said it was a good thing she didn’t have taps on her shoes

She would have made noise during her flip and would have had to be sent to prison,

Or if she had a hole in her pants; to the moral squad.

Please tell Mrs. Gregory that you’ve written the relatives and we’re all properly shocked.

(at her sending the note.)

            Obviously, I am blessed with a family with a great sense of humor.  


            Last weeks post reflected how important it is as parents to be a student of our children.  To recognize each child will require a different manner of discipline and instruction.  The obvious lesson today is God’s mercy.  He knew exactly what I needed from my parents and our extended family.

            My family didn’t come to personal relationships with God until I was in my tweenage years. God in His mercy, knew what it would take to conform me to His image.  He knew I would struggle with taking life too seriously, He knew I would be a stickler for rules and my own self-righteousness. 

Google Images

            God’s mercy gave me, my family of origin...to help me laugh.  He knew the Bryants would teach me to be compassionate. He knew they would force me to learn to pray for their salvation.  He knew that it would take their personalities to help me to love people in the world.  

            My misbehavior in Mrs. Gregory’s first grade class wasn’t as much about punishment, correction or disobedience as it was about the years since then.  I have learned to be grateful for the incredible family God has given me. 

            Moms, let me encourage you to be less focused on the small snapshot of today, and imagine what the mural of our lives and our children will be.   God in His Mercy knew we would be the perfect parents for the children He chose for our homes.  He is merciful! Let’s revel in that!

"I'm in a desperate situation!" David replied to Gad. "But let me fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is very great. Do not let me fall into human hands."  (NLT)                 I Chronicles 21: 13

A Heart of Flesh

My little princess lay in her bed with tears streaming down her cheeks and that little sound in her voice like she couldn’t catch her breath. “Mommy, I am just used to doing bad. I can’t make better choices there is too much bad in my heart.”She is almost six years old and those words coming out of her little mouth were just…well I don’t know…I was struggling with my response. Her choice of words left me somewhere between heart broken and pleased that she had at some point paid attention to something I had said.

She is my rebel slash little rascal. She has a mind of her own and a great big powerful will to go along with it. She challenges my authority and my patience on a daily bases. She is also always ready to play and have fun. My lap is her favorite seat. She loves as big as her attitude. She is a blessing.

“I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.” Ezekiel 36:25-27

“Mommy, I am just used to doing bad. I can’t make better choices there is too much bad in my heart.”She opened the door wide for a little chat about Jesus that night. As I lay with her we talked about how we all have that bad stuff in our hearts. Jesus is the one who can make our hearts clean. He gives us a new heart, a heart of flesh. His Spirit lives in our hearts and is there to guide us. It was a beautiful little chat we had.

Over the last few weeks God has been showing me the importance of authority in our lives. My daughter has such an issue with all this bad stuff in her heart because she is not willing to trust in my authority. When she is disobedient she is choosing to follow her own will. She fails to see that I love her and want the best for her that my instructions for her are not to hurt or punish her.

I pray for all my children that they will learn to trust in my authority. I know they won’t always like it but that is not the point. Trusting and obeying is. This is not just about me wanting obedient children, of course I do, but more than anything I want them to understand better how they need to relate to their Heavenly Father. As they grow in their relationship with God, as they learn more and more about Him and His commands. I pray that they will see that more than any person, they can trust in their Heavenly Father and they can be obedient when its hard because of who they know their God is.

We all need that makeover. God changing out our hearts of stone for hearts of flesh. I am reminded each day I spend with my children of my own struggle with authority. I can relate to how difficult it is for them to be obedient because I have been there. But God has traded out that heart of stone for a heart of flesh and because of the Spirit within me I can follow Him.

Lord, I pray for my relationship with my children. I pray Lord that I can be the mom they need. Help me to be consistent in discipline and to follow through. Help them to see that they need you they need a heart of flesh Lord so that they can not only respond appropriately to me but also to you.

Getting Away - Family Vacations - A Must!

This past week our family visited Gatlinburg, TN on our annual summer vacation @ the cabin! It was a blast for our family to enjoy the beauty of God's creation, alongside my parents and sister and her husband as well. As we were there I received an email devotion that I subscribe to by Barbara and Dennis Rainey called "Moments With You, Daily Connections for Couples." 

It came at the perfect time and reminded me of the importance of what we were doing in Tennessee. I pray you read on and are challenged to take family vacations. Sacrifice those extras to allow your family those trips that will be life changing with memories that will be cherished forever by both you and your children. 

Below is the email devotion I spoke of.....

Making the Getaway

[Jesus] said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while."- Mark 6:31 NASB

Every family needs the anticipation, experiences and memories of a well-planned vacation. But in today's "time is money" way of thinking, the family vacation is fast becoming a thing of the past.

When asked recently by Gallup pollsters whether or not they had any summer vacation plans, 43 percent of adult respondents said no. And for many of those who do get away, their vacations are hardly conducive to getting relaxed and unplugged. Since 1995, the number of vacationers who bring their work along--by way of cell phones and laptop computers--has nearly doubled. All in all, about half of us do.

As couples and families, you need to buck this trend. Just as the romance of a marriage relationship is enhanced by cozy getaways, the romance of a relationship with your children is built on the memories you create together.

And one of the best places to do this is on vacation. Real vacation. One thing my parents did right was to instill in me a lot of memories: making ice cream at Grandma's house, fishing trips, relatives, parties. We didn't go all over the United States on fancy trips, but they did leave me with an enormous reservoir of memories that I still draw on today as a husband and father. We certainly did the same thing with our children as well.

Consider this goal for your family in the coming year: Our family will be found guilty of having too much fun rather than too little. But to get there, you'll need to carve some time out of your schedule--on purpose! Memories are not built by default. Memories are made by couples and parents who are intentional about being together.

Discuss
Reflect on your memories from childhood. What made the great trips truly great? Think about what you'd like to do on your next getaway as a couple or as a family.

Pray
Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and to help you resist the constant, relentless tug of work so that you can truly pull away with your family.

THINK Before You Speak (Raising Your Voice in Anger)

I pray you have been enjoying and are being edified by the Tuesday blog series on taming the tongue. This week we focus on raising our voices in anger. At some point or another, we have all raised our voices to get our point across. Depending on your background, we have all been exposed to this in our homes at some level growing up. And we all have our "boiling point" where our patience runs thin and our voices seem to get louder and more firm until we get the results we want. The question is, at what point do we cross that line from speaking with a firm tone to let our kids know we mean business verses shouting to express our wrath, which Scripture tells us does not produce the righteousness of God.

In order to get a better hold on this area, let's first assess those times we are most likely to struggle with this. I know for me it's right around that certain time of the month when those cranky hormones start to run amok... and when my kids get at each other on road trips. How about you? At what times are you most likely to raise your voice in anger with your kids?  How can we be proactive during these times to have control over our tongues and tempers? Here are some more questions to consider and some Scripture to reflect on.

How often do your kids/husband/others hear you raise your voice in anger in a day? a week? a month?
Do you feel that yelling is the only way to get their attention and get things done?
What are some ways you can work on getting your point across with a calm, firm tone rather than shouting?


A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1


A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.
Proverbs 29:11


Be slow to wrath, because the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 
James 1:19-20

Gracious God,
I ask You to please forgive me for the times I have "lost it" and raised my voice in anger against my family. Please help me to disciple and discipline according to Your Word and with a tone that produces righteousness in me and my family rather than fear and wrath. I humbly ask for Your continued help, forgiveness, and guidance as I work on taming my tongue and honoring You with what comes out of my mouth.  Please help me to recognize the times I am most vulnerable and susceptible to shouting in anger and help me to stop, take a break, take a breath, and pray before speaking. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Sweating it Out...

Some trials just seem to drag on forever...How are we supposed to handle it all?

This blog is a follow-up on my friend Julie's newborn who has been in the hospital for a little over three long months. You can follow her journey on www.happyhomefairy.com

                                                                   What a week!

As I mentioned before, after weeks of trying to get the Happy Baby to eat enough, we decided to go ahead and get him a feeding tube so that we could bust out of the hospital.

Tuesday morning, the 3rd of July, was crazy.

Not only was it the day of the Happy Baby’s surgery, but also it was the Happy Buddy’s 3rd birthday.

So the Happy Hubby and I went from balloons and Mickey-shaped pancakes with one son in the morning to holding hands in a waiting room while our other son underwent surgery.

Trust me, I did not plan that schedule.

Thanks to your faithful prayers, I felt the greatest sense of peace as they worked on our precious little one.

They placed a feeding tube in the Happy Baby as well as took a muscle biopsy from his outer right thigh to help with the further genetic testing.

I shared on Facebook that I have never particularly cared for the word boring, but I was eternally grateful to hear the surgeon use it to describe the Happy Baby’s procedure.

His recovery was a little traumatic for me… I hated seeing him groggy and in pain… And because he had to undergo anesthesia, it set us back a little in the way of his respiratory strength. Anesthesia slows everything down in the body and since the Happy Baby’s muscles are already impaired, he needed some oxygen support for several days following the surgery.

The picture above, though, is such a sweet gift to me as it was one of his first smiles post-surgery!

Yesterday the doctor came in our room and said 3 things needed to happen in order for us to be able to go home.

1. The Happy Baby needs to get off of oxygen.

2. The Happy Baby needs to tolerate his feeds.

3. The feeding pump equipment that we will be taking home with us needs to be delivered to the hospital.

The Happy Hubby wrestled with the insurance company to make sure the medical supplies were covered – they finally got delivered late yesterday afternoon.

The Happy Baby has only spit up a few times. Normal baby stuff.

But his oxygen is still kind of in limbo. The doctor last night finally decided to do a chest X-Ray to see what was going on. They saw some spots in his lungs as well as some air under his diaphragms (probably got in there from the surgery).

I tell you! It just never seems to end!

If these last few things get resolved (and don’t turn into a greater problem, like pneumonia), then I think we are going home.

I feel so hesitant even typing that. Maybe I should just start having our mail forwarded to the pediatric ward.

No. One way or another, God will bring us home. He is just continually calling us to this season of more trust, more surrender, and more hope in His great plans for our Happy Home.

Dude, I sincerely pray that my next post will be an awesome announcement about our breaking free from the hospital’s death grip!

“Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:24-25

I love the way Julie's post is so transparent, so honest, so humble, so emotional! It reminds me of the Psalms when David bears his heart before the Lord--good day, rough day, peaceful day, or horrendous day, David lets it all hang out. He is real with his God. BUT then he always ends with trust, hope, and faith in the Almighty God even if his circumstances seem hopeless. I am glad we have that kind of example before us so that we know without a doubt that we can be completely honest and transparent with our Lord and Savior. We don't have to pretend to be strong. All we need to do is trust. Sooooo, I am totally psyched to write that the very next day (Sunday, July 8, 2012), this was Julie's post:

After 96 Days In the Hospital…

8Jul

The Happy Baby has been cleared to come home.

Praise our Great God for hearing and answering our prayers! I pray you feel encouraged today!

In Him,

Teresa