A Working Mommy

This term "working Mommy" is a puzzler, while it is meant to refer to those who work outside the home, it also very much refers to those who are blessed to stay at home full-time, as I have been these last 3 years. We certainly do work very hard to lay the foundation of a loving home and raise kids with Christ-like character. 

Well, I am transitioning in this season of my life from being at home full-time to returning to the work force, specifically the classroom. This decision came with mixed emotions, of course. I was excited to return to my passion and calling of teaching, while the thought of being away from my girls 8 hours every day was heartbreaking. I am blessed, however, to teach at a wonderful Christian school that has an amazing Pre-K program for my oldest and on-site childcare for my 18 month old. Then, of course, there is the baby.... A week after being hired, we found out we are expecting another gift of life! A surprise, to be sure, but one we welcome and are very excited about.

The fact is, I have alot of work ahead of me, but don't we all? We are all working mommies balancing our time among the many jobs we are called to do. I have heard our lives likened to a circus performer spinning several plates balanced on sticks, trying to keep them all spinning without dropping. Some of them are fine china, others are everyday plates, and then there are the paper plates. The fine china is the important things like our faith, kids, and spouse. The everyday plates are our jobs, homes, and those other very important parts of or daily lives. While the paper plates are those less important aspects of our lives that we can afford to drop without fear of breaking, though we never want to "drop" anything.

It's all about priorities and balancing your time and attention. In this season of your life, how would you categorize your priorities in this analogy? Have you put something in your fine china category that should be lower on your priority list or vice versa? This week let's take a look at our priorities and daily schedules and challenge ourselves to refocus how we spend our time and attention and adjust our schedules accordingly.

I have been blessed to serve as a weekly part of this blog, and though I will still be a guest blogger from time to time, I will no longer be the regular Tuesday blogger. I pray you will continue to be blessed, encouraged, and challenged through the daily posts and in your many adventures as mommy.

Silence Please!

The other day, the funniest thing happened. My oldest son was riding in the back of the car with his little brother. Except today at this particular time, Mikey was not in the mood to play. He just wanted to chill and enjoy the ride. I was shocked! He is a lot like me when I was little, which means that his mouth is usually running about a mile a minute. So as his sweet little brother sought his attention, my youngest found that his attempts were just not working. Therefore, He started to hit him out of frustration, but that lesson is for another day. What I want to hone in on was Mikey's need for silence.

The above story actually segways into this next story : My husband had borrowed our Papa's pressure washer to clean our outdoor furniture before we moved. Even though it was a brutally hot day, he suited up in a long sleeve shirt and long pants to avoid being carried off by mosquitoes. He was worked hard for hours, but he seemed to be consoled by the fact that he was able to listen to his IPod nano--a gift he received for his past birthday.

Well, little did I know, but he mistakingly left his treasured birthday gift in the pocket of his pants and I threw it in the wash with his clothes. Needless to say, it came out squeaky clean, but it no longer worked. I expected him to be upset... Not with me, but just a general frustration for not having his IPod anymore. However, upon me gently breaking the news to him he said the oddest thing--or at least the last thing I had expected him to say.

He said that he felt the Lord telling him that he was too preoccupied--he needed more times of silence.I must say that my husband mainly uses his IPod for listening to contemporary worship, Christian hip hop, scripture podcasts, and 3dm devotionals--all good things. BUT, these good things were blocking out all of his quiet time to listen and hear the Lord's still, small voice. Although my husband felt this in his heart, he was having trouble implementing it...so the Lord lovingly helped him out.

Are you having the same struggle? Is your time too preoccupied with stuff (electronic or otherwise).?Determine today to put the Lord at the center of all you do. Be diligent about making quiet time with him, and be blessed by the peace you receive from time well spent with Him.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for being so patient with us. Thank you for creating us to need you. Please help us to take the time to quiet our hearts and minds and spend much needed quality time with you.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

"But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him." Habbakkuk 2:20

What’s Your Parenting Style?

Psalm 127:3
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

My husband and I are taking classes to become foster parents. These classes have not only begun a journey to equip us, but have opened our eyes to analyze how we currently parent. Each of my children is so very different I feel my style differs with each personality. There are a few tools I have taken away from these classes that I would love to share with all of you moms as you seek the Lord in raising up the next generation. If you are anything like us you probably struggle daily with how best to parent, what things to change, how to make them listen without breaking their spirit, How to keep them grounded in faith and love…. I pray these tools will bless you as they have blessed us J

Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Proactive parenting   Vs. Reactive parenting

Proactive:

·       Builds a safe, trusting relationship by frequently staying close

·       Focuses on appropriate behaviors and positive consequences

·       Looks for what the child “is doing” right and provides positive consequences for that behavior rather than forcing compliance

·       Withholds positive consequences for “not doing” rather than providing negative consequences

·       Sees appropriate behavior as a chance to pay off better then inappropriate behavior

Reactive:

·       Corrodes your relationship

·       Focuses on inappropriate behavior and giving negative consequences

·       Looks for what the child is doing wrong and tries to get rid of that behavior through coercion or punishment

·       Sees inappropriate behavior as a chance to forcefully “teach the child a lesson” so the child fears the consequences and stops doing the behavior

·       Forgets to pay attention to what the child is doing right

·       Waits for the bad behavior and reacts to it rather then having a plan

·       Allows your own bad experiences and resulting bad mood to control your parenting

·       Uses 8 common coercive: questioning, arguing, sarcasm, force, threat, criticism, despair, logic

·       Uses punishment

Titus 2:7

Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity

Challenge: What is my parenting style? Are there ways I can change some of my parenting styles to help build trust and closeness with my child even in times of discipline? What are the common feelings children experience while coping with proactive vs. reactive parenting?

"ME" Time - PART TWO- Girl Time!

Last week's blog talked about what we can do in our spare time to bless our husbands.


Side note: Single moms - you do have a husband - his name is Jesus. He looks for you to pursue ways to please him as well. He loves for you to seek out time to be with him. To exercise and be in "shape" for those moments HE wants to use you in ministry.  Keep your face towards Him and watch how he puts those opportunities in your path, which allow you to feel close to Him. Allow Jesus to be your perfect husband right now in this season.


This week we will explore the importance of having "girl time" scheduled into our week.

Many times as moms we are the last person on our list. We seek to serve others and forget to plan some "me" time into our schedule. I am hoping you will see the importance of friendship and how it's something we need to cultivate and encourage in our life. The impact is life changing.

We should have at least one day per week that we get out, for ourselves, with no responsibility, and just enjoy the sweetness of friendship. Get refreshed. Rejuvenated. Ready to face the week ahead! Ready to share the struggles of the week that just passed. I need to be intentional about getting together with friends and have learned in my life that if I am not... than unfortunately those friendships will suffer. 

I LOVE Starbucks! Yes I enjoy their Frappacchinos but I love what their store represents even more. Starbucks symbolizes sweet times with girlfriends. Sharing life. Doing Bible studies. Catching up. Reminiscing. Making new friends. Relaxing. Gleaning. Laughing. Enjoying great coffee.


Scripture reminds us of the importance of friendship in our life...


Proverbs 18:24 NIV
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.




Proverbs 13:20 NIV
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harms.




John 15:13 NIV
Greater Love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.




Proverbs 27:17 NIV
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another




Proverbs17:17 NIV
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity




Proverbs 22:24-25 NIV
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared




Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!




Proverbs 15:22 NIV
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

When is your "girl time" scheduled this week? 


I once had a friend say that in order to start something new you have to let go of something old. So elementary yet so profound. What, in your schedule, do you need to let go of to make some room for girl time?


 If it is not on your calendar yet then plan to call up a friend and get some coffee together. Mark it down. Get a sitter if necessary. Then share. Cry. Laugh. Enjoy. Pray together. And then repeat all of the above on a regular basis and watch how you will be refreshed, challenged, encouraged and ready to face the world! 


Life is busy. Make time for friends!


You might just be surprised @ the ministry opportunities HE allows you to be a part of as you get out :)

So you think you can Dance?

Psalms 150

1 Praise the LORD! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens!

2 Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness!

3 Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp!

4 Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!

5 Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!

6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD! Praise the LORD!

Google images 

           One of our favorite childhood picture books was Angelina Ballerina.  It has the most precious story line of a family of mice. Angelina is the daughter who loves to dance.  She dances on her way to school, as she comes down the hall, on her way to the grocery store…the family can’t stop her.  Everywhere she is goes, she dances.

            Little did I know that our third child should have been named after the mouse, Angelina!  She dances everywhere just like Angelina.  She is constantly showing me her new accomplishments, and my phone is ever ready for pictures or videos.

            What if we really lived out Psalm 150? Suppose we saw every opportunity as one to “Praise the Lord.”

            As moms, we scratch our heads as we try to live out “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  My understanding of this verse is that each child has a “bent.”  They were made in specific and varying ways. 

            Our oldest, the artist, didn’t excel in room clean up, but she has learned to praise Him with paint and crafts and ideas.

            Our middle child, enjoys sports.  As he gallops ahead of his teammates it is evident that He too is using his talents to praise the Lord.

            Girls, each of our children where created for praise.  Give them small percussion instruments, paint, a microphone, a lacrosse stick, whatever it is that will lead them to give praise.  Let them find that which they were created for and let them express praise with their unique talents. 

The Hard Things

The hard things, aren’t there just so many of them?  This last week I had to do one of those really hard things.  I had to load up my four beautiful babies in our van.  They were all crying, really it was more like an uncontrollable sob.  There little hearts were so sad.  As we drove away looking back at their daddy crying and waving, knowing it would be months before we would see him again.  My heart was breaking for them, for me, and for what felt like the world.  I wanted to turn around and take them back.  I wanted to ease their pain and make life all better.   But I couldn’t.

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.  “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!”  The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.  It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”  Lamentations 3:22-26

I couldn’t take them back because sometimes God asks us to do the hard things.  And reacting to that emotion to make things better for the moment, as heavy as it was weighing on me, would have done two things: It would have been an only for the moment “feel better,” and I would have been disobeying God. 

When God gives us direction sometimes it may seem unfair or hurtful to our kids. Remember that He loves them more than we do and that if God has given us a clear direction it benefits every life it touches including our children’s.  

“For the Lord will not cast off forever.  Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.  For He does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.”  Lamentations 3:31-33

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”   Jeremiah 29:11

Whether it is in discipline, a big life change like a move or a new job, a financial cut back.  Where ever it maybe that God is leading you.  Follow Him with all your heart. Focus on Him.  Listen to Him and mute out the world around you.  Seek wise counsel.  He will never call you to do anything that will harm your children. 

Lord, give me the strength to do your will in the hard things.  I wish life could be all flowers and sunshine but that is impossible in our world so polluted with sin.  Keep my feet upon your path always.  Do not let me veer to the left or to the right.  Give me a heart with eyes that are fixed on You.  Give me a vision to see where you are leading me and the patient endurance to withstand the valleys and the fires along the way.  Give me a trust and faith in You that can take a step at a time knowing that Your plans are to give me a “hope and a future.”  And help me never to forget that You Lord have entrusted me with these little children, that You created them in love and that Your plan is always best for every life that it touches. 

Priorities Part 1- Waking Up with the Lord

During this season of my life, waking up has been the best part of my day.  Here's how it happens in our home.  My one year old son stands up in his crib and calls, "Dada!"  My husband  rescues him from the confines of his crib, changes his diaper and brings him into our bed.  I wake to the most precious little hand on my face, a cheerful, "Ahh!", a smile that lights up my world or, the best, a big, open mouthed kiss.  Hunter is our first child, so this indescribable joy still feels new to me, and I pray that it never gets old. 

Recently; however, the Lord put it on my heart to wake up with Him.  You see, I would set aside Hunter's first nap for my quiet time.  This seemed like a good idea, but often I would clean up the kitchen, throw in a load of laundry, put a few things away -  all "on my way" out to the patio for quiet time.   Then my husband might call, and, before I knew it, Hunter was up!  My time with Him was often cut short.  I resisted His call at first, because I so loved my mornings.  I wanted to enjoy my little man waking me up for as long as I could.  I worried, what would he think when Daddy went to get him and I wasn't in our bed?  Instead, they would find me on the patio, giving the first part of my day to our Lord.  While this might not be the sweet, snuggly morning we had grown to love, it's a witness to my husband and son that our Lord comes first.  After all, He is our first love. (Rev  2:4)



Matthew 6:33 New King James Version (NKJV)

³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

How do you put God first in your life?  Do you spend your first hour with him?  Or, when planning your day, do you first allocate time to sit at his feet and hear from him? 

Malachi 3:10
Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,” Says the LORD of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.
Malachi 3:9-11

I believe that just as He blesses us financially for giving first to Him, so he seemingly adds hours to our days when we honor Him with the first of our time. 

I have always struggled with taking on too much and feeling overwhelmed.  I tend to run full speed ahead and accomplish much, but eventually I hit the wall hard.  When this happens, I do not represent Christ well in my home.  Our Lord has gently reminded me, "I didn't ask you to do all that" or "Do less, but do this."  As I transition from the workplace to my new career working in our home, He has reminded me of my priorities.  I remember fellow blogger, Maggie, sharing with me that someone dear to her asks for God's help in planning each day.   And so, I take my to do list to him each morning.  I ask him to align my priorities with his and I pray that his will for my day will be done.  That he will use me for his kingdom work first, help me accomplish that which needs to be done today and leave undone that which can wait. 

If you're feeling overwhelmed today, beloved, take your to do list to him.  He will arrange it for you, according to his perfect plan for your day.

How can we apply this same truth for our children?  I was blessed to receive two gifts shortly after Hunter was born, from fellow blogger, Fran.  A Praise Baby DVD and a Baby Bible for Boys.  Beginning in his first few weeks of life and immediately following his breakfast, Hunter either watches his Praise Baby DVD (We now have 3 of them) or we read from his Baby Bible for Boys.  It's never too soon to model our God given priorities for our little ones and provide the tools for them to do the same. 

This is the first in a series of blogs that will focus on God's priorities for our lives, one at a time.  You will see blogs on this topic the first Wednesday of every month.  Here's a sneak preview of what's to come:  1) God 2) Husband 3) Children/Immediate Family 4) Service 5) Work/Home 6) Friends 7) Rest/Refreshment.  It helps me to assess my daily activities against this quick list when I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I hope it helps you, too, my friend. 

And, so, Christian, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Servant, Worker, Friend and more, let's take a moment to pray together and seek our Heavenly Father's will for today.

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for giving us your word to guide us and your son's perfect example to follow.  We thank you for every hour of every day that you've given us.  May we glorify you and do all things as onto you, Lord.  Help us to seek you first each day and to encourage our children to do the same so that you would help us plan the rest of our day.  Lord, you know what I would like to accomplish today.  Help me to arrange my to do list so that it aligns with your will for my day.  May your will be done before mine.  Help me accomplish that which needs to be done and let go of that which does not.  In Jesus' name, I pray.  Amen.