SHUT UP!

Can we talk? Of course we can… we’re women! It is said that God created us with two ears and one mouth for a reason. Apparently, we are supposed to listen twice as much as we talk. We should hold this true, especially when communicating with our children.

I used to glory in Ephesians 6:2-3 (NIV) “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” …and then one day I read verse 4:  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

We exasperate them when we don’t listen. My daughter will be 15 in a few weeks and I know I have talked a LOT over the years. Often, I would listen until I thought I knew what she was trying to say. Then I would interrupt and say what I thought needed to be said before she was able to finish.

James 1:19 (NIV) My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

The last 2 years of raising a teenager has definitely questioned my competency as a parent and has challenged me to abide in the Lord. A few months ago, during a ‘talk’ with my daughter, I asked her what she thought God was saying to her. She didn’t answer. I asked again, but this time the Holy Spirit commanded me to be quiet.  There was an awkward silence. Just when I wanted to speak, the Holy Spirit again commanded me to be quiet. A few seconds later, God opened the floodgates of her heart to me. I sat in silence as God allowed me to hear her heart as He hears us!

1 John 5:14-15 (NIV) This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

That conversation (an oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas) proved to be a turning point in both of our lives. She is growing in the Lord and I am forever blessed by the Lord telling me to SHUT UP!

Challenge: Take a few moments to have a conversation with each of your children. Really listen to them. Allow them time to express their thoughts. Make sure they know that not only you hear them, but Jesus hears them!

All of Life is a Lesson to Learn

Lately I have noticed my oldest son struggling with making friends. We have a play date each Friday at  a local park and many times he starts out friendly only to end up frustrating kids. We went to a beach baptism this past weekend only to find this issue resurface as my son irritated boys digging a sand tunnel by trying to ruin their efforts. It can seem at times he doesn't know his boundaries with friends and honestly it has been hard for me to watch. I find myself frustrated trying to understand why and what to do.

So I decided that the subject of "friendship" would be our main focus with Bible stories and lessons over the next couple of weeks. Our family will focus on how to be a friend. What His word says on friendship. What we have learned from our playground experiences? What are those steps the Lord wants us to take to incur change in our life?

Any issue my family walks through, will be an opportunity to visit TRUTH and see how our Maker says to handle it. I want trials in our life to be stepping stones to a greater understanding of His word and how to look more and more like Jesus. I decided to Google "Bible Verses about Friendship for Kids" and here are a few I found....

There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 19:24


A friend loves at all times. - Proverbs 17:17



There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. - 

Proverbs 19:24NLT

 There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.. - 

John 15:13 NLT

What do you do when issues come up with your kids @ the playground? @ home?

Do we do follow up or is it just a time-out or a spanking?

Be sure you are explaining to your little ones HIS truth and why it is you are trying to correct his/her behavior :)

Find scripture to support you and shine light on the issue at hand :)

Maybe have them memorize that scripture for the week and then follow up and praise them for their progress!

Anticipation....

I’ve been keeping a secret…

            For more than a month, I’ve been working on a surprise.  As mentioned in previous posts, I’m not a gift giver.  But sometimes…gifts are very appropriate.

            Greg and I will celebrate our 25^th Wedding Anniversary this week.  I wanted to get him something so special (and not silver!) Gifts are on the bottom rung of his love languages, so I had to think and pray hard for the perfect gift.

Thus, began my conquest for just the right gift.  I thought of what made him happy; of what made him really smile…and that my friend is where the idea began.  It occurred to me Greg smiles easily when he sees me.  He especially smiles when he sees me dressed up.  We have talked over the last 25 years about renewing our vows, but it seemed too hard to figure the “when and the where.”  I decided the gift should be a surprise vow renewal. Just as the Grinch’s plan began to grow and with every sneaky fiber of my being "the Secret" hatched.

Greg realizing something is up!

Watching me surprise him in a new dress.

         This blog is not the place to detail all that I had to hide, what you need to know is it was fun and exciting and it worked!

Mission Vow Renewal Complete!

          As I planned and hid the evidence, I grew very excited and couldn’t help but parallel this experience with how we as parents KNOW what is good and right for our children.  We know what is coming up and how much they will enjoy it.  We know the potential and possibility of their lives. Sometimes they will neither trust us nor walk happily to the destination.

            God too, has a big surprise for us. I can only imagine His anticipation!!  He is planning our future (Jeremiah 29:11.)  A future on this side of eternity that will bring about my conformity to His image. A future on the other side of eternity that will bring me into His Presence.  As His bride, we will all wear white and He will again renew His vows to us!!  
                                        Can you imagine His anticipation?

It's Too Hard!

Last week in, “A Heart of Flesh,” I shared with you that my baby girl told me, “Mommy, I am just used to doing bad.  I can’t make better choices there is too much bad in my heart.”  This comment of course opened up a great conversation on Jesus.  But this conversation did not end with the salvation prayer it ended with her telling me that it is just to hard to be good. 

I should probably mention that she is extremely strong willed.  She is one of those darling little girls that can melt your heart with their cuteness and smile.  Then later you find out that is just the packaging for a whole lot of attitude. But regardless she has a great big heart and I love her tons. 

Well this last week we had much more drama.  We had gone through this same situation again and again of her telling me she could just not make better choices and me reminding her that choices had consequences.  It was honestly exhausting.  It has been one of those times as a mother that I feel completely clueless and am wondering where I went wrong and what I should be doing different.   

I am very aware that God is teaching me something in all this.  Mainly about the attitude of a person’s heart toward Him but also that my will has got to be stronger than hers.  And I am telling you what that strength can only come from Christ because that girl has me beat.  She amazes me and I am sure God will use that for something good someday. 

 

One night she was helping me make her birthday cake.  She was very happy because it was a special time for just her and me.  She got to crack all the eggs, mix everything in, and lick the spoon when we were done.  What’s not to be happy about? 

While she was mixing the cake I asked her if I could read the Bible to her.  She said, “Sure mommy.”  I told her to listen carefully so she could explain to me what I was reading. I read to her Romans 7:15 and 18:

“I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do good, but I cannot carry it out.” 

She understood this and explained to me that just like Paul she had a heart full of sin and did bad even when she didn’t really want to. 

Next I read Romans 7:24:

 

“What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?”

And I asked her “who” it was that could rescue her from her heart full of sin and she told me, Jesus.  Then I asked her if she would like to ask Jesus to live in her heart and help her.  She said yes with a smile on her face and said her own prayer that went something like this:

“Dear Jesus I know that my heart is full of sin.  Please come live in my heart and help me get rid of all the bad.  Amen.”

 

She is 6 so it was short and to the point. 

That night when I was tucking the kids into bed she told her brothers and sister that she had asked Jesus to live in her heart.  I had then asked them to each pray and thank Jesus for something from their day.  This was her prayer: 

“Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross for my sin.  Please help me to turn up my listening ears so that I can hear you better and make better choices.  Amen”

I share this as a praise.  We all want that moment for our children when they realize they NEED a savior because their heart is full of sin.  I also share it for encouragement because this is a decision our children have to make on their own, no matter their age.  We can guide them and pray for them.  We can also be heart broken when we explain to them who Jesus is and what He has done for them and they look us in the face and tell us, “No, I can’t be good, it’s too hard.”  That is when it hasn’t quite clicked for them that it is to hard on their own. 

Be patient.  Pray. Wait on the Lord.  Love your kids where they are at and lead them toward their Savior. 

Who's in Control Anyways?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"

declares the Lord.

Isaiah 55:8

In A.W. Tozer's book "The Knowledge of the Holy" he states "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." It was the first sentence of Chapter One and it stopped me in my tracks. What came into my mind as I pondered that profound statement was God is sovereign. The next question to myself was "why is this the most important thing about me?" 

In order to find the answer to my question, I needed to look back. As I looked back on my life, I recognized that I grew up in an unstable environment physically and emotionally.  My parents did not have a happy marriage and divorced when I was 12. My mother needed to go to work full time to care for my siblings and I. Meanwhile my father was in and out of the picture.  It was then that I started working hard to be successful in order to cover up the fact that on the inside I felt the opposite and was in fact emotionally wounded and insecure. Because I worked hard to created a confident veneer, no one would describe me as such; but I knew the truth.  I went to church regularly but did not walk with the Lord on a daily basis.  Therefore, my main goal was to gain a feeling of worth, security and control in school, church, and with peers.  As a side note: This is in no way meant to be derogatory, hurtful, or dishonoring towards my parents, I know they loved me and did their best within their life circumstances. I am grateful for them.  They took me to church where I accepted Jesus as my savior at the age of 4 during Summer Vacation Bible School. I highlight them only to help bring understanding regarding my tendency to try to control and create stability in my life. Since I became a committed Christian in 1993, the Lord has been so faithful (and sovereign I might add) to teach me life lessons through circumstances to show me He is in fact the one in control of my life. This is why as I ponder God, his sovereignty is pivotal for me. It has fulfilled my vain pursuit of control and stability apart from Him. The lessons have not always been easily learned, but worth it because today I am able to confidently declare by His spirit within me; "God is sovereign"!

It is crucial in our walk of faith to think rightly about God. In my Bible there is a section called "Living Insight".  The author of this section is Charles R. Swindoll. He states, "What we think about God shapes our moral and ethical standards.  What we think about God motivates our response toward fortune, fame, power and pleasure.  What we think about God directly affects our response to pain and pleasure". Believing God is sovereign, is the beginning of deep trust and complete reliance on His will for our lives. Life is not random! We need to build our house upon the the Rock.  God is the Rock. Jesus says it this way in Luke 6:46-49; "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice.  He is like a man building a house who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock.  When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it because it was well built." God's sovereignty is the foundation of my faith.  I have purposed to use every opportunity in our family life to ensure my son Samuel and daughter Bailee understand this about God.  This attribute of God is so important to instill in our children.  From the moment of his or her first disappointment to the entrance into Middle School on into High School and beyond. 

"See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart and turns away from the living God.  But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness" Hebrews 3:12-13

Difficult circumstances, unmet expectations and disappointments hurt.  If not handled with the truths of God, often times those circumstances and hurts cause us to sin. Often times we allow our emotions to dictate our actions causing us further hurt and/or the hurt of others. As a mom, how you teach your son or daughter to handle these hurts is critical to how they think about God.  This is why I reference Hebrews 3:12-13 above. The word sovereign or sovereignty can be tricky to define.  I define it this way; "God's will, God's way, God's best". I have been blessed to experience this first hand with my children. An example was this past Spring, my son was going out for the school baseball team.  He was pretty sure he would make the team but not sure what squad he would make; Junior Varsity or Varsity.  For many players and their parents this is quite an important matter.  Samuel and I were having a conversation about this after the week of try-outs was over.  I asked him where he thought he would land.  He simply answered me by saying that it didn't matter where he landed and that God would put him where He wanted him. Keeping this right thinking is a daily practice. When you view life through this lens, the wounds caused by disappointment will still come but the "sting" will not last long.  There is freedom in God's will. He is love, one glance at the cross proves that.  Therefore, teach your children, teach yourself, to believe all of life's circumstances, are designed by God for his glory and our good! 

I pray for you today as you read the above words that only God's spirit remains on your minds and in your hearts!  May you believe today deeper than yesterday that God is sovereign and may you walk in the freedom of that truth and teach your children to do the same!

In Jesus precious name I write and pray.

 

Enjoy your day...after all it's the best day of your life cause it's the one you have!!

Recommended reading: 

"The Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Tozer 

 The Old Testament chronologically

 Proverbs 3:5-7

 Romans 8:28

 

THINK Before You Speak (Complaining)

We are all guilty of this in one way or another. We don't get enough help around the house from our spouse or children. The lines are too long at the grocery store, and they only have 3 registers open. You just finished folding the laundry, and your little one wets her sheets, or in my case, the cats run across the bed knocking over all of the neatly folded and organized piles. Those "are you kidding me?" moments where we cannot help but grumble under our breath or sometimes a little louder.

We know we hear it from our kids on an almost daily basis. "His piece is bigger than mine." "I don't want to take a bath!" "Yuck, I don't like carrots!" The fact is, there are many reasons to complain and many things to complain about. I know when my kids get into one of their complaining fits, it can really irritate me. I can only imagine what my complaining sounds like to God. Thankfully, He abounds in patience and grace.

The challenge in Philippians to do all things without grumbling or complaining is a tough one. Frustration is a natural reaction. The supernatural reaction comes when we choose not to voice those frustrations and just roll with it, realizing our words not only displease God but also do very little to make the situation any better. Here are some questions and Scripture references to consider this week.


What situations/areas are you most likely to complain about?
Would others describe you as a complainer?
Would you describe yourself this way?
How can you work with your kids to do less grumbling and complaining?
What are some ways you can gain self-control in this area and rather than complain, take action to change a situation for the better (or not say anything at all)?

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1 Peter 4:9 

Do everything without grumbling or arguing,  so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”
Philippians 2:14-15 

Father, this day I come to you in prayer asking for Your help to do all things without grumbling or complaining. Please help me to have a positive and peaceful attitude when things don't go as I hoped or planned and not give voice to my frustrations. In this way may I set an example to my children and be pleasing to You in my words. Please help me to correct my children when they complain and help them find a better way to express their needs and frustration without grumbling. Thank You for Your patience with me as I work to draw closer to You and learn to become more like You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

50 SHADES OF GREY?

Psalm 24:3-5
³ Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? ⁴ Those who have clean hands and a pure heart, who do not put their trust in an idol or swear by a false god. ⁵ They will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God their Savior

            *Just a little warning moms, this may be PG13 so if there are little faces next to you please close and read later J 

Lately there has been a lot of talk about a particular set of novels called 50 shades of grey. I heard so much about this book (just about every woman I know was reading it) that I began to question what it was. I even pondered reading it myself until I dug deeper. As I learned more about all the appeal of these books many thoughts crossed my mind and concern swept my heart. Many men struggle with sexual sin and I sometimes wonder if all the attention gets poured onto them and misses us women? We are all sexual beings. God made us to have the urge for sexuality. We may process things differently but that doesn’t excuse women from the struggle. Nor does that stop satan from tempting us the way he knows best.

John 8:44

New International Version (NIV)

⁴⁴ You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Satan is slick!! He can get to our men with pictures but be careful ladies he knows our nemeses too. With romance novels, and movies with plots like Magic Mike lingering all around we have to be more alert not to fall into the crowd of “Oh, it’s not like it’s porn.” I guarantee you it’s just as bad, and though it seemed harmless at the time, it will open the door to a heap of sin on you, your husbands, and eventually trickle down into your kids! It’s interesting that gray is the color used in the title of this seductive book, reminds me of the verse:

Revelation 3:15-16 

¹⁵ I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶ So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

           

 Grey is neither black nor white. It lies in the middle, in the “lukewarm” area. I don’t want to be a stumbling block for my husband, marriage, or family so ladies whether it’s taking a second glance at a jogger, fantasizing, reading novels, or watching suggestive movies I vow here and now not to do it! I hope you will take this stand with me. Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of sexuality. Help us to use it as you intended toward our spouse. Create in us pure hearts that we may not open the door to sin and protect us from our enemy that wants us to fail daily. Thank you for our husbands and help us to be a strength and support for them as satan prepares for a daily attack against them. Keep our husbands and ourselves steadfast and aware so that we stay pure in heart. In Jesus precious name! Amen!

1 John 3:2-3
² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. ³ All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.