Here Comes Barbie.... Not!

A very nice lady that I had become acquainted with once called me a perfect little Barbie who has all her children put together nicely in a row. She meant it as a compliment and I love her for it but it was a comment that grinded me like nails on a chalkboard. It caught me off guard and I thought really, as hard as I try some days to have it all together, I am certain I have never accomplished it. I almost immediately asked my sister what this woman was talking about and she assured me that no one really thought that about me. And I found I was relieved. That may sound silly; I should have loved a compliment like that, right? But that person this lady described is a fairy tale. She is not real, and because of that, she is completely unrelatable.

God has put a conviction in my heart to love people where they are, encourage them to grow spiritually and to use the experiences of my own life’s messes to help others. The blogs that I write are things that God is either reminding me of or teaching me. I am not a fictional character, I am a real live person with mess like everyone else and I will be until the day I die no matter how hard I try to have it all together. Life’s messes can sometimes be embarrassing, uncomfortable and just plain ugly. So here is just one little bit of proof that I am not a Barbie who has all of life figured out.

"Self-pity is of the devil, if I go off on that line I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world." Oswald Chambers

You can look at another person’s life and fairly quick recognize self-pity. Even in our own lives we can look back and recognize our own moments of self-pity but when you are in the midst of a pity party sometimes it is a bit more difficult to realize what is going on. Well, I had my own little pity party this last week. It was a beauty too.

I had been sick all week; I was physically drained along with some emotional baggage. I had recently visited my family for about two weeks. I have a new niece who is beautiful, and two other nieces who are growing so fast. I was missing my mom, my sister and the joy of being an aunt up close instead of from far away. I was really missing my friends and the opportunity to just sit with them and enjoy their company, their wisdom and friendship.

Honestly, these are things that hit me from time to time but I handle it. I know God has brought us where we are and He will give us everything we need. I find peace in that. But on that day I was having a hard time holding on to that perspective. I had let myself get so worn out that those feelings blew up and I spiraled down right into a massively huge pity party. I blamed my husband and kids for my being so exhausted. I was crying about being lonely and missing everyone, all of which, of course, to my husband whom I made feel terrible.

Through all this I kept praying, trusting in God because if I couldn’t understand anything else I could understand that I was freaking out and I needed God to put me back together. I kept praying and repeating over and over in my head the truths of God that His word tells me and that is how I fell asleep. The next morning God cleared the fog away. He helped me take a step back and see what I had done. The key word here being I, no one else had made me exhausted, I did that to myself.

Each day I got up that week I felt sicker. Each day I would rest a little when I would usually exercise, but that is all I did to take care of myself. I home school, so school went on as normal, chores and dinners. I did my best to make sure that everything was not interrupted by me being sick. Why? Because I didn’t want the kids to miss a day of school, I didn’t want the house messy, I didn’t want Josh to have to make dinner. There are a lot of I’s in that sentence. So by the end of the week I was exhausted.

Philippians 4:8 tells us to think on things that are true. I blamed everyone else for my exhaustion. I was not thinking on things that were true. Because what was true was that my kids would have loved a day off school to chill and cuddle, they are very capable of picking up there own messes, not to mention the only one the mess bothers is me. Josh would have happily come home and made dinner or picked up a pizza. So if I were thinking on what was true I would have seen that I was the only one to blame.

That day when God helped me step back and take a good look at myself I actually learned several things. But the one I want to point out today is that my own expectations were what exhausted me; they weren’t my husband’s or my kid’s, they were mine. On a normal day, in a normal week there really was nothing wrong with my expectations. But this was not a normal week. I needed to be willing to step back and give my expectations a break, I should have never of clung to them so tightly.

We all have our moments of weakness where the pity party sets in, but lets not camp there. In those moments let’s think on what is true, let’s check our expectations and see if we are maybe holding on a little to tightly. I learned nothing in my pity party; I was too focused on me. Where I learned was on the other side of it. I believe God used it for good and I pray I learned what I needed to know.

Matthew 5:6, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

I hope that when my kids are older that they will be able to say of me that I hunger and thirst after righteousness. I don’t want to hear that I am a Barbie or that I have it all together. I don’t want to be thought of as some fake fictional character. I want to be relatable and even though it can be embarrassing, uncomfortable or ugly, I want my kids to see that I mess up too. But most of all I want them to see that I come out on the other side, I learn from it and let God use it as He sees fit. I want them to see God at work and know that God can work in them too.

Do you hunger and thirst after righteousness? Do you put that above looking perfect on the outside? Are you focusing on what is true? I pray that you will take some time to look at your own hearts and ask yourself these questions.

Stored Treasures

When I was pregnant with Selah (my first), a friend of mine bought us a bunch of Disney princess dolls when she found out it was a girl. My husband Rick put up shelves in the bedroom in preparation for Selah's arrival, and we filled one shelf with these dolls along with some other stuffed animals, books, and collectibles we received as gifts. Selah is now 2, and the other day she asked to play with the dolls that were up on the shelf. She has never seen any of the movies, but she knows the characters from books and toys she sees in the store. When she initially asked, we were getting ready to head out the door, so I explained she could play with them later.



A small part of me was very hesitant to open the boxes. I mean, they had been on that shelf for more than 2 years, and wouldn't they be worth something if left in the original boxes? I thought to myself how silly I was being. First, I am not the type to collect and sell these kinds of things, and second, they are toys, and toys were made to be played with. So, the next time Selah asked, we opened one box at a time, removed the shoes and other small parts little Susannah could choke on, and off she went into a world of make believe with her new toys. She makes them dance, sing, pray, jump, and even shares some of her snacks with them. One or two are always placed gingerly in the diaper bag by Selah before we head out the door, and from time to time, she will even tuck one in next to her as she gets warm and cozy for nap or bedtime.



It makes me think about how we want to teach our children to think of "things". Each has its purpose and use. We need to care for our things and not abuse them while at the same time see them as objects that are nice to have but not to be treasured to a state of covetousness, selfishness, or idolatry. Had I kept them up on a shelf to collect dust in hopes that they would be worth something someday, I would have missed out on their real purpose and worth.

Many of our nice things have become not so nice anymore with stains on our "stain resistant" couch, torn "pretty" throw pillows, and scratches on my locket from teething babies. But, alas, they are just things. Stains can be cleaned, pillows can be sewn or replaced, but my kids are only kids for so long. I have set my mind to not get too upset at the wear and tear and just keep things in perspective.

My hope is to teach my kids how to take care of their things while at the same time putting them in their proper place, spiritually speaking. (... ummm, and literally!) I hope to expand this lesson to teach them to find more joy in giving than receiving (or at least as much joy, this is one lesson that takes time and maturity).

And through the process of teaching it, I hope to have it sink into my heart a little deeper as well. My hand mixer does the job, I do not need that fancy electric mixer. And it is not necessary to have another pair of shoes just because they will go perfectly with that dress. Whether we have the financial means or not- just because we can, doesn't mean we should.

Challenge for this week- To put "things" into perspective, especially with the Christmas season fast approaching. What are my weaknesses in this area? Examine myself and my children for behaviors of selfishness, covetousness, or even idolatry, and begin to ask God for help in changing our hearts and mindsets regarding 'stuff'.

Prayer- Jehovah Jireh, You are our provider. You supply all my needs according to Your riches and glory and go above to bless me beyond that. I pray that I will see 'things' for what they are and not allow them to become idols or shape my character in a way that does not bring You glory. Please help me to teach my children to balance respecting and caring for the blessings You give while at the same time not having selfish and covetous hearts. May we store up treasures in heaven and keep our heart and minds ever focused on You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Embrace the Season

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Less. Smaller house. Less furniture. No cable. Less cell phone minutes. Less spending money. Less shopping. Less!

I have to admit that this season of “less” that I am going through has not been easy. As soon as we have a little bit of “extra”, something else happens: medical bills are due, the check engine light comes on in the car, etc. I have been frustrated and tired of “trials”. I have been ready to scream, “When is this trial over? What am I doing wrong? What are you trying to teach me already?” But then God knocks on my heart and whispers: contentment. He wants me to have the secret of contentment that Paul wrote about in Philippians. He wants me to grow. He wants me to be mature and complete, not lacking any good thing. Paul wrote to the early church:

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11b-13

I have to honestly say that God has blessed me with seasons of plenty. Seasons when I have had extra money in my account, and seasons where I could go shopping without worrying about a budget. I have to also honestly say that I am not in that season right now, and as uncomfortable as it may be, I have noticed…change. God is not changing my circumstances; God is changing me!

God is teaching me that He is the secret of contentment in every situation. That if I walk through this life with Him as my focus, I can be content because He is with me. He will never leave me (Deuteronomy 31:8) . In this season, I am rediscovering the joy of my salvation. I am becoming more appreciative of my family, my friends, and my daily bread. I am thankful that I have a car to drive that allows me to connect with the other precious moms God has placed in my life. I am thankful for the love I share with my husband and kids. I am thankful for God’s love for me.

So actually I have MORE. More of Him. More of a desire to know Him. More intimacy in my devotional times with Him. More compassion for others who are going through tough times.
It’s a little humorous because my four year old son is also learning to be content with what he has as I am starting to say “no” and “not right now” to some of his requests.

Unbeknownst to me, I had accidentally become the overindulgent mom. If Mikey wanted it, Mikey got it…after all, why not? We had the money, and his requests seemed reasonable. Little did I know, his heart was doing a transition as he accumulated more stuff…and he has a lot of stuff! You see, he was started to become less appreciative and thankful for what God had blessed him with, and more insistent on the fact that he needed “that” new toy, book, etc. He had come to think he was entitled to get something new every time we went to the store!

After the tenth, “Mommy please may I get just one thing!”, I would explain to him that he needed to be thankful for all the wonderful things that he already has…a room overflowing with toys and books, and he needed to be thankful that he had friends to play and share his stuff with. But he kept begging…so much so that I started to lose my patience a bit. Out of frustration, I thought out loud, “The only way to make you more grateful for what you already have is to stop giving you everything you want...now”.

And then it dawned on me, that is exactly what God is doing in me right now. Too many times, I have been like that with God. I start rattling of my list of prayer requests of things I need (or want) and often forget to thank him for what He has already blessed me with and for the fruit He is producing in my life during this season of less.

So, my prayer for each of us is that we would learn to fix our eyes on Jesus and all that he has done for us. That we would see that He is the secret of our contentment. Nothing else will last. Clothes fade, shoes get worn out,cars die, and furniture needs to be replaced…but He remains faithful and true forever!

Dear Father,
You are so good to us! You sent your only son to die for us while we were still sinners. Please restore to us the joy of our salvation. Whether we are living in a season of plenty or of want, please help us to be thankful for all that you have richly blessed us with us. You have given us the best gift of all…the ability to have a personal, living relationship with you. May that truth transform the way we view our circumstances today. And while we are waiting to be free of our current trial, may we soar in our relationship with you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Verses to consider:

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34

Questions to consider:

What season of life are you going through right now? What is God teaching you about yourself? What is God teaching you about Him?

Application:

Think of practical ways you can teach your children to be more thankful. If time allows, share your ideas in the comments section of this blog. I would love some suggestions. :)

The WIndow Seat

My family has had the experience of moving a couple times in the last few years. I don’t mean just moving to a new house around town. I mean new states. The most recent move was to Georgia. We had one very short weekend to find a house to move into so we were praying hard and had asked everyone to pray with us. At the end of the weekend we had narrowed our list, which was already very small, down to three houses. Our first pick was one we all liked, it had plenty of space was on a cul-de-sac, had a yard, was a close walk to the pool and the best part was the price. The second choice was very nice also, there would be no walking to the pool though and the price was not as comfy. The third one in all honesty was not really a choice it was on the list simply because we had so few to choose from.

While we were on this trip my sweet friend Maggie called me to let me know that she was praying for me. Her prayer was that we would find a house with a nice window seat that I could read in. She was not really sure why she was praying for a window seat and I wasn’t sure either I had never ever thought of wanting a window seat. But I was blessed and encouraged just knowing she was praying.

Well, we didn’t get our first pick, someone beat us to it but we did get the second runner up. We were a little nervous about it because it cost more. We had prayed about it and everything else that was surrounding this move. Our constant prayer with this move was that God would eliminate our choices so that we would be where He wanted us. I guess our choices were being eliminated, just like we asked.

When we arrived at our new house in Georgia the cleaning that was supposed to be done was not done. The house reeked of dog, burn your nose reek, and there was no cracking the windows in that heat. We got the truck unloaded and realized that the water and the gas were shut off in the house. It was seven o’clock at night; we had four kids and a lot of unpacking to do. The kids were having a ball; oblivious to my concerns, they were running through an almost empty house and exploring the unknown, where is the concern with that? I was just walking around praying, reminding myself of all the answers to prayer and of all the things that had lined up to get us where we were. As I was doing that Satan was screaming at me… “You have no hot water, you can’t cook, this place is dirtier than you expected and smells really bad. Are you sure you are following God? Is this really His plan or yours? Those so-called answers to prayer… maybe you just made them up? What are you doing here?”

On the verge of tears I walked into the bedroom off the kitchen to get away from all the chaos, where there were no boxes, it didn’t smell as bad and I could just try and find some peace. And there it was, over looking the most beautiful, mature trees and huge purple and pink butterfly bushes…the window seat. I had never noticed it when we looked at the house I had no idea it was there. But there, at that moment, there was no longer the verge of tears, they were running down my face and I was laughing. Joy, that is what I felt, unspeakable joy. As Satan was screaming at me, God quietly and lovingly answered with a window seat.

After thanking God I picked up my phone and called Maggie to share with her why she was praying for a window seat. God knew I would need it. He answered my doubt with reassurance and love. That window seat was like being pulled into the lap of my heavenly Father for a nice long hug.

Friendship is such a blessing given to us by God. Friend’s love and care for each other. Pray for each other. Teach and learn from each other. They share life’s joys and sorrows. Jesus says in John 7: 37-38, “…if anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” I tell you what; I have some amazing friends whose stream of living water does more than flow it comes out like a busted dam. Oh, what a blessing to be drenched by that.

Where’s the mom stuff, right? Well here it is. There was a time when I didn’t make time for my friends and I still struggle with it. Life is busy and crazy with kids. You feel bad for leaving them or your husband to hang out with friends. But you know I need to be blasted with that living water. I need words of encouragement and a hug. I get that from God in our quiet time but He uses the body of Christ too, and sometimes that is the hug I need the one God gives through another one of His daughters.

I want to encourage you to make sure you get some time with your friends, the ones with the streams of living water flowing within them. Get a hug; give a hug. Be encouraged and loved by the people that God has put in your life to be a blessing to you and be a blessing to them.

If you lack this kind of friendship I encourage you to join a small group through your church. I know it can be hard to get away once a week especially if you are a working mother. But these friends, these are the people who are going to be on their knees praying for you when you most need it. The people who bring you meals when they know life is crazy, pay for your kids Christmas when your husband has lost his job or sit with you all day at the funeral home when you loose a loved one.

Take time this week to spend with a good friend or write them a letter of encouragement. Don’t take them for granted. They truly are blessings from God. I cherish my friendships and hope in my humanness that I never take them for granted. I know I am blessed. I love each one of my friends dearly and I miss them very much. I can’t wait to pay them a visit and give them all big hugs. But for now I will just keep reminding them that they mean more to me than they will ever know.

Click on the link and take a few minutes to listen to More than you’ll ever know by Watermark

Friends...Speak the Truth

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. - Ephesians 4:15



I have come to realize that I am a people pleaser. Not that I want to please people more than God but really that I want everyone to be happy in all circumstances. If they are not happy, then I try to fix the problem only to cause another problem. So frequently when a friend says they are unable to make a function or get together, I will try to change the date, time, place ect. in hopes of making them happy. The unfortunate thing in trying to do this is I am not thinking of the 10 other people who have already committed and already planned to go along with our original plans. Last time we were together, I shared about how fickle I am and need to work on being a woman my family and friends have full confidence in (Proverbs 31:11). As you read on, you will realize that HE is still working on this in my life :)


One day a few weeks ago,  I was blindsided as we were leaving the park when a friend approached me about this problem. The kids & I were on our way to the car as I, again, was trying to make everyone happy and began to change plans to help out with the busyness of another's schedule. I had a sweet friend pull me aside and share she has noticed that I really struggle with this. She said I need to not change plans as often as I do but stick to our original schedule to honor those who have already committed. She was so right. I knew I struggled with this, but I so appreciate that she loved me enough to speak the truth in love. 

I was blindsided by this talk. I am glad I was blindsided. It was helpful, truthful, and spurred me on to life change. I am now making an effort not to do this. I so appreciate that my friend felt comfortable enough to share with me about my "people pleasing" issue. I am so grateful to those friends in life that will say the "hard" things, I really need to hear, about the spiritual condition of my heart. It can be a challenge to do this as well as receive it. 

Each time I see that friend, I am reminded of the Truth she spoke into my life and it holds me accountable to keeping my word. I am so thankful that my friend laced this truthful conversation with grace and love. That was key to the way my heart received the message. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....in the most delightful way....as Julie Andrews would say on the movie "Mary Poppins."


I have  really tried to make an effort to be a woman of my word, not change plans, and realize that all our friends will not make it to each event we plan and that's OK :)

Recently our couples small group talked about the importance of friendship in our life. In our homework for the week, we were given a ton of scripture on friendship and questions asking about its' purpose is in our life. We came back together and shared what the Lord taught us as we meditated on them. It really got me thinking about friendship and the importance of having Godly girlfriends with the same goal... to bring glory to the Lord through their life.

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." -Proverbs 27:17

Our pastor recently shared that as we live out this verse that sparks will fly. It's true. If we are truly hoping to sharpen each other then there will be those occasional hard conversations we have to have. Those phone calls we need to make. Sparks will fly.


Do you have those friends in your life who will say the things that will challenge your faith walk and make you look more like Jesus?


Sometimes we will be "blindsided" by an exchange we didn't see coming. It is hard to accept constructive criticism. But if our heart's desire is to grow then we will experience those uncomfortable conversations with close friends as each of us is being sharpened. There have been PLENTY of times my husband and I have had those heart to heart conversations and I've asked the question..."How can I be a better wife?"


A few months ago I really started to evaluate the investment I was making into my close friendships. I started randomly asking my friends a few simple, yet life changing, questions about our relationship: How can I be a better friend? What areas do you see in my life where I struggle as a friend? Then I put my seat belt on, buckled down, and allow the Lord to use our friendship to mold me more into the woman of God that the Lord wants me to be. Sometimes I get blindsided but it's all worth it for the goal to look more like Jesus through this process.


Questions to Ponder:


Do you have friends in your life who are challenging your walk with Christ?
If not, PRAY, and the Lord will provide.


Are you a friend that is "sharpening" (Proverbs 27:17) those around you?


When you have a confrontation in your life do you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) ?


Ask a close friend the tough question of how you can better serve them as a friend.


Get ready to grow and be stretched! It is an exciting journey to walk with Jesus....I wouldn't have it any other way.

***STAY TUNED...next Saturday we will start Part 2 of our "Friendship" series called
"Friends ...Support Each Other"

Questions???

Being a Mom involves so many questions?  We ask ourselves constantly…what should I do? What does this child need?  When should they be corrected? What should they eat?  What doctor should we us? And ultimately, “Why do they ask so many questions?”

Almost daily while driving from home to school or church we pass a walking track.

We see a host of healthy enthusiasts biking, jogging, roller-blading, those pushing strollers, jumping rope, you name it…they are busy getting healthy. Recently, while driving by the track, we noticed what appeared to be a less than health inspired “group” of people walking.

We knew this because they weren’t in the traditional “uniform” of the “typical track people.”  These groups were wearing jeans and some wore even a more church appropriate attire.  As we passed a second “group” we saw they where carrying a sign that identified themselves as being from a church.

My youngest and I began a conversation filled with questions, “who are they?” and  “why are they dressed like that?”  But the final question came as we passed a little guy carrying a poster board across his back that looked more like a blanket then a message.

His sign read, “Prayer Changes Things!”  To that I smiled.  Hope, on the other hand, almost as if no one was listening asked, “Is that true?”

We had the obvious conversation that would follow such a question.  However I have replayed that moment so many times since that day “Is it really true…does prayer change things?”

Of course the obvious is, it does!  I believe prayer changes things!  I believe all of life is sifted through the providential fingers of our Heavenly Father.

And yet, such bad things happen...have happened, are happening and will happen.  Why can’t God stop those things…or why doesn’t He?

I have thought back to friends of ours in South Carolina, Lt. Clebe and Deanna McClary.  Mrs. McClary's incredibly handsome husband went off to Vietnam to return without an eye, an arm and a limp.  To this day he suffers with the pain of those injuries.  Yet the injuries and experiences he sustained have allowed him to travel and speak in places he could have never spoken to if it weren’t for them.  He shares his salvation experience and invites others to do the same.  Many have come to Christ as a result of his involvement in the Vietnam War.

You know what? Many prayed during that time for him and the war.  They wanted the war over, they wanted our armed forces to come home safe and without injury.  God was answering their prayers and their questions.

Mark Batterson a pastor in Washington DC, says of his salvation experience as a result of watching the movie, The Hiding Place, that he was the beneficiary of  “Corrie ten Boom’s unanswerable questions and unexplainable experiences.”

We don’t have all the answers to our children’s questions let alone ours.  Romans 8: 28 (can we all say it together?)  ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His good purpose.

Mommy’s we can trust Him with our “unanswered” questions and prayers.  Lets encourage our children to trust Him with all their questions.

Becoming

So I bow in prayer before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth gets its true name. I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.

With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

I have been praying this scripture for my kids the last couple weeks. I have been memorizing and meditating on it. God is definitely drawing my attention to these verses; they have been popping up in books I read and sermons I hear. When I started praying these verses for my kids it was because I want them to be made strong inwardly through His Spirit, I want Christ to be at home in their hearts, I want all these things this scripture talks about for them. But as it usually happens with these things God has had some things to show me as well.

Am I living this prayer? Am I always growing spiritually? Does Christ feel right at home in my heart? Have I let Him into every little nook and cranny? Do I believe that God can do much, much more than anything I can ask or imagine?

I want to live not simply exist.

Before I had children, there were many different ways that I served Christ and with each child those things went away. There was a time when I felt like I was loosing a bit of myself as those things went away. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted lots of babies and loved caring for them. When I was younger I never thought I would be a housewife, I always planned on working. But when I got married, that changed. I loved serving my husband and couldn’t wait to be a mom. But somehow I still had this picture of “super me” caring for my husband, all these other little people and still doing everything I did before.

In my feelings of loss the question asked myself was, in all those things was I serving Christ or serving me? The answer then was that I was serving Christ and in this new season of life I was serving Christ by caring for my husband and little ones. Another question was, what is my purpose? I found my answer in Romans 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” My purpose is to become like Christ. I will be honest, when I was seeking the answer I was looking for what committee to serve on, how many hungry kids do I feed, I was looking to do, do, do. I somehow attached my purpose to something I did instead of who I was.

Being a mom can sometimes feel like you left behind a life of serving and purpose for a life of mundane ordinary tasks. But I want to challenge that idea or feeling and look at it from a different perspective. As a mom and a wife God has given us the perfect environment to live, to grow and become more like Him. We have been given every opportunity to learn to forgive, love, to be patient, kind, gentle, to show mercy and grace. All of these things right there in one home. What a blessing.

When I said that I want to live not simply exist, I meant that I want to follow God and serve Him with all that I am. That is living. To simply exist is to go through life with no purpose…to live day by day serving me. Sometimes the mundane things in the life of being a mom, like dishes, laundry, dirty bathrooms, and making food can feel like simply existing but character is forged in the mundane. God is using those mundane tasks to build our character and make us more like Him: which is our purpose.

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.” Ephesians 6:7

Being transparent here, I will tell you that I still long and dream of what God’s big picture may look like. There are so many organizations and causes that my heart leaps at to get involved in. But I am content with where I am trusting in God. Right now God is telling me to stay put, serve Him by serving my family and growing everyday into the women He created me to be by becoming more like His son. But my heart still reaches for the promise that, “With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine.” I long to see what that is, knowing that I first have to trust God at point A before he moves me on to point B and farther.

I also want to note that this is where God has put ME. I pray about what to do, where to serve; and I serve by home schooling four children, bible classes to work on both my head and my heart, and this blog. This is where God has put me for this season of my life. Each time I get all excited about a ministry that tugs on my heart when I take it to God, the answer I get is ‘not right now.’

I encourage you to make time for a one on one with God and ask Him where He wants you right now. The answer will be different for each one of us. Mothers that work outside the home may be serving by bringing Christ into their work environment. I thank God for all the women who He calls to serve in children’s ministries at church, to help with foster care, to counsel teenage girls, to lead women’s ministries and much, much more. These are all things that I hope to do more of one day. I love and appreciate the women who are doing these things right now.

What does living look like for you? Where is God calling you to? What may He be asking you to give up for a season? Remember Romans 8:29 that your purpose is to become like Christ. That is something that will not change and is true in every season of life for every person. So if you feel a little lost and unsure, focus on what you can be sure of and that is becoming more like Christ.