Seasons Have Purpose

A few years ago I heard a message on the seasons of life that profoundly challenged and stretched me.  It shared  how each one has purpose and much goes on below the surface that's unseen to our human eyes.  Seasons are planned, purposed and exactly measured for whats necessary to support and strengthen for the season that is coming next. They are not too short or too long, but just the right amount of time to perfect the condition needed for survival in the next season.

Winter is the season where I feel God has me currently nuzzled. Frequently I find myself feeling cold, bleak, and dry from the weather conditions swirling around my life. But I stand firm, just like the oak, storing necessary nutrients for the those future appointments to be used up for His glory. There have been days where I find myself crying out to God with questions of why the struggle has to sting so badly. I watch my oldest seek to find one solid friend pushing through his social inadequacies. My middle son weeding through his frustrations to find where he fits, and my daughter learning a its not about how much we know but what we do with what we know, that truly matters.

Somedays it feels as if time stands still. Like this season will never end. But it will. One day the Seawell Family will be in a new season, where we are the "friend" that another needs. We will find our place and speak truth over others reminding them who they are in Jesus. We are being strengthened now, by who Christ says we are, which will catapult us into being a vessel for others with truths learned. Daily I find myself needing to speak words of encouragement over their weary hearts. Pressing through the exhaustion, I daily must allow His word to pour into me so I can overflow into them. HE is working. On them. On me. It's deeper than the surface.

There is purpose. It goes beyond us. It is what HE wants to do in and through us if we will stand firm, allow His truth to nourish,  and continue through those uncomfortable conditions that try to break us but ultimately make us stronger in Him. To the onlooker it may not look like much is going on, but there is a preparing in my heart for what I know HE has.

I trust in His sovereignty even if I don't totally fully grasp what He is doing. I can trust that He is God and I am not.  Stand firm. Stand tall. Your next season is coming soon.

This is the sound of surviving...take a listen....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaOExJJa_YA

Fight or Flight

The fight-or-flight response, also known as the acute stress response, refers to a physiological reaction that occurs in the presence of something that is terrifying, either mentally or physically. The response is triggered by the release of hormones that prepare your body to either stay and deal with a threat or to run away to safety. (Verywellmind.com)

                        

My natural reaction in situations that are uncomfortable is to leave, take flight and run far far away. But the Spirit of Jesus in me, presses that it is neither healthy nor fruitful. God is re-teaching me this lesson, again. As I parent, there will inevitably be situations where my children struggle with other children. They are little sinners doing life with other little sinners. My initial instinct is to just lesson the time we hang out with that child/family for a season and run away, but my heart knows this habit needs to be tweaked.

When struggles arise with other kiddos we need to train our children to seek restoration God's way as in Matthew 18. Going as the one offended or the one who has offended and search out the other person to share your heart with. It's good to start in prayer and bring Jesus into the center of the struggle. God's encouraging me to go back to this basic and foster healthy communication. Sometimes in the sharing we realize it was just a misunderstanding with feelings hurt.    

I am training my kids. All day. Everyday. I am showing my children the way to live life, and the steps to enjoy healthy relationships. As I write, I notice how much I fail in this, and feel Jesus nudging me to re-evaluate how I do friendship. Its easy to run and hide. Its easy to let friendships fade away because they rub you or your children the wrong way. But the truth tells of that refining process under the surface going on between you, your kids, and Jesus. And remember we have a real ememy, named Satan, who hates unity, friendship and family. Satan wants things kept in the dark, but God wants us to reveal our hurts out in the light.


               

Friendship is hard and takes work, but if we strive to honor the Lord in them they will bring Him great glory. Don't run when it gets tough. Seek His face and look for ways of restoration. Our friendships grounded in truth will last longer and should look different than those in the world. How we handle relationships does trickle down into how our kids do too! 

Is there a friendship that you or your child need to pay more attention to? Share your heart with someone who needs to hear it today. 

Delighting in the Details

There is power in our words. Each day thousands of words flow from our lips in many directions to many people. They have the opportunity to give life or death. Lately the Lord has been highlighting the condition of my heart and how it reflects in the words I speak aloud. I can speak heavily into the struggles and forget to praise the strengths. 

I want my kids to do well.  I hope they soar in education, grow greatly in their faith in Christ, and love others well. My dreams for my kids are grandiose. Hoping for greater because we serve a supernatural God. But if I am completely candid, my heart sometimes gets lost in the current deficit, forgetting to rejoice in the positive of the present.  Focusing on the future and neglecting to celebrate the praise-worthy things right now. 

What are my kids doing well right now? Is it their passionate zeal  for the Bible or the great grades in Math? The lonely child they embraced last week at the park? Folding their clothes and putting them away with such diligence? Praying for a friend in need?

I need to praise my children in the areas they are succeeding in. Use my mouth to uplift and remind them I DO notice those little things done well. Life is hard for our kiddos with friends, bullies, sickness, practice, learning struggles, peer pressure, and homework. 

They need to hear life spoken over them daily. Reminded that they matter and are noticed and cherished. Those little victories are important to us and God too. As we seek to hone our children in the direction of Jesus, remember God delights in the details of their life and yours too!

                        

Practice praising your child daily for one area they do well. It will change the way you look at them. And how they look at you. 

Take the Time

Tonight after dinner the boys went out for some special time with Daddy. Leaving me and my five year old daughter at home getting ready for bed. As we readied our hearts to wind down for the night, I fit in some "special Mommy time." I began sharing with my girl how I have seen such a change in her heart over the past year. From year 4 to 5 I watched as she strived to fit in with the popular girl her age in our community. Watching and longing to "fit in,"  most days realizing it probably wasn't going to happen. I saw much sassiness and less humility flowing through most of her relationships. Many meltdowns when the answer was NO and dishonoring her Mommy became a constant.

As we cuddled and I stroked her wet hair, she began to weep. She expressed sorrow for the past year and how she longed to go back to being 4 years old. This opened up the door for me to share about how HIS mercies are new every morning and that our sin is what Jesus died for. How the Lord longs for us to repent and ask for forgiveness. So right there, my daughter prayed and asked Jesus to cleanse her sweet heart of the heaviness she had been struggling with. We cried and rejoiced over the newness of tomorrow leading into a new year ahead. How God longs to restore brokenness. I am so grateful I had tonight with her. 

Many days are so busy and we must be intentional. Each night our family's goal is to spend 10 minutes with each child individually where they pick the activity we do without interruptions of other kiddos. Undistracted time where we can play and talk together. Tonight that time was so fruitful with my girl! I am grateful for our special time. It showed me that so many behavioral struggles are deep rooted issues greater than the behavior we see manifested. That even a little five year old can hold onto hurts and reflect that in her interactions with others. I am grateful God's Truth leads us to repentance. How God redeems the ugly for something beautiful if we will just hand it over to Him.

Oh how I long for special time now with my kids. Realizing that it is impactful for them...and for me too! What special time can you carve out for your kids today? Trust me it will be a deposit that will reap amazing dividends.

Pray for Them

11 years ago the Lord started me on a long journey. I gave birth to a healthy son, who on the outside looked like every other baby, but at age six we would learn has Aspergers with a few extra challenges. As I have parented him the Lord has weaved many many lessons into my life. I have been stripped and humbled much through the ups and downs of social situations. I am constantly learning things aren't always what they seem and so much is beyond the surface. 

Every new social situation gives way for training about acceptable behaviors and trying to be Jesus as we do it. We have hurt others and been hurt ourselves. Trying to find acceptance with peers while remembering to be ourselves void of nervousness. Trusting God is Sovereign even when we don't see purpose in that experience or how it was necessary to our growth.

Six months ago I watched God move. I observed part of our story...His story...unfold. There was a boy who had been so wounding with his words and actions towards my kiddos for three years. We ran in the same circles, hung out at the same places, and enjoyed similar things. At times I really hoped God would remove us from that circle. He didn't. 

But God... pressed upon my heart to have my kids pray for him, from our first struggle. We prayed many many prayers over that child, and that God would help us love well even though our hearts were hurt. Daily we prayed when encounters happened. At night we prayed as thoughts of him swirled our minds before bed. Thoughts of painful words said... as our hearts were breaking. Three years of pleading with Jesus and no results...or so we thought. 

Our pain had purpose. Six months ago after many prayers lifted we watched God move. The same little boy we had been praying for had a change of heart. God changed his heart. God answered our prayers. God moved. The little boy reached out in compassion and love towards my son who was undergoing surgery. That boy prayed for my son right before he went under. He showed that change of heart we had been praying for. WOW! Only God. God had a plan that was hidden to us. 

Jesus wanted my kids (and me too if I am totally honest) to learn how to show love and compassion to our "enemy." God showed us that HE does hear and His timing isn't always ours. The Lord gave us a glimpse into the supernatural and how we're a part of a bigger story. Hearts do change with prayer. Our heart toward our enemy and our enemy's heart towards us. Its easy to love the lovable and those who treat you well, but love and forgiveness lived out IS the GOSPEL. 

God sees. Struggles are real, Jesus is good, and trusting in Him takes faith. Even when the Lord looks silent and still...He is working beneath the surface. He is always working. Who do you need to forgive today? Pray for them and... wait. 

                  Just be still and know HE is God. 

                                            

Special Needs With Special Needs

This week has been a tough one. My son, with Aspergers entering 6th grade, has really been grappling with not having any friends. All of his good buds, who accept his many quirks and love him unconditionally, live far away. We sat and cried together as I shared about those quiet times in my adult life where I felt alone and without a friend. I told of those days I, too, desired a buddy and felt without. 

We talked about seasons, knowing that although they seem like they will never ever end that indeed they...eventually do. Seasons in life have hidden processes working beneath the surface, things greater than can be seen with the human eye. The tree that looks dead in Winter is storing necessary nutrients for Spring when it will shed beautiful colors and form. We conversed on how God continues working even when it feels very still and quiet. Insides are being fashioned and nourished for a future season. We pray each night and believe God is working. Laying this trial at His feet trusting God is knitting together the perfect friend for him. 

God is entrusting hidden treasures, as my son grows in his faith and trusts during a time that is uncomfortable and not fun. A work in secret spaces of his heart, God will expose as beauty in this next season we walk out. Its hard to watch, if I am very honest. Alone, with my face in lap, I have cried many times over my child who struggles so with social situations. It seems as we grow older, our struggles follow suit. 

God formed us with a heart for community from the beginning. It is not good to be alone. The Lord has tucked away a truth in my heart as of late...I must be intentional. I need to keep my eyes wide open for those opportunities for us to be the friend we are looking for.  Focusing not on our own struggle but how HE might use it for His glory. How Jesus might want us to befriend another who is longing for a friend too. Will it be hard? Um yeah, of course! But if I believe that God works it all for good, then this too He will use for His glory as we continue to seek His face through it all. I continue to rest in the sovereignty of God. This season will bear much fruit if we allow the nutrients sown in Winter to be used in Spring. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  

who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can 

comfort those in any trouble with the comfort

 we ourselves receive from God.

What is God asking you to be intentional about? Have you seen truths sewn in your life lately that God wants to use for His glory?

What comes out when you are POPPED?

Whoa! I’m doing some journaling in my Journibles for Galatians and was totally convicted.  (Love these Journibles.) This however, was a good conviction – a clarifying conviction. 

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21

How many countless times have we all read this part of scripture and just skimmed over the words?  (Did you do it just now?)  We haven’t murdered anyone; we are not into idol worship or the other stuff in there – of course because we are all perfect, right?!  Well, I was convicted because my flesh was exposed – not my physical flesh, ladies but the works of my flesh.  Here’s the story:

Recently, our family went camping with other families and I took it upon myself to organize the meals.  We were to all bring such and such to share.  From what I understood it was all good and everyone was on board.  However, over and over during the weekend I heard questions about the food list.  We were coming up short in some things and I felt like everyone was blaming me.  Well, the burden of it built up so much so that at one point I yelled the loudest I may have ever yelled before, and said, “That’s IT!...” I don’t remember every word but I was angry and frustrated.  I POPPED!

You see, the evidence that I was not walking in the Spirit was that I blew up in the flesh.  My buttons were pushed and I popped out what I had been putting in.  If you saw me that day you would have said, “but Laura, you did your devotions this morning, why didn’t that come out?”  Good question, I asked that too!  The clear answer was that I was just going through the motions. <jaw drop> I was caught!

Are you caught, too?  What comes out when your buttons are pushed? 

Fill yourself with the truth whether it’s just meditating on one verse all week or a whole chapter, etc.  Better to pop out that verse than your flesh!